Simply Appalling

Monday night, June 30

Actor Adam Sandler was being filmed having sex with a large rodent. It appeared to be a beaver, and the poor creature was on top. By that I mean the beaver, not Sandler.

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DISCLAIMER: This event did not happen; it's a strange dream that I had -- nothing more. I'm sure that Mr. Sandler is a very nice person who never abuses any quadrupeds.

This morning my wife asked me if I had any dreams, and I made the mistake of telling her about this one. I'm not sure she's over it yet. What could account for a dream that is so vile and strange? All I can figure is that I cooked up this scene as a quick sight gag in one of Sandler's silly movies. One can imagine his character sitting around a table playing cards with the guys, who are all bragging about their sexual exploits. When it becomes Sandler's turn, he says, "Boy, did I have a beaver last night!" (Cut to the shot of Sandler and an actual beaver.)

Comedy is not pretty, as Steve Martin said long ago.

Many years ago, some time in the early 1980s, I was watching TV late at night, and came across the documentary "This Is Elvis." I was very amused when Elvis was filmed while sitting with members of his entourage in the back of a limo, and the King was overheard (on network TV) saying, "I was buried in a beaver last night!" Suddenly he noticed that he was being filmed, and immediately began singing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." That Elvis. What a card.

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June 2008 Dream Roundup

Family and Friends:

Andrew C.
Arina H.
Brent L.
Dad C.
Ed B.
Eddie M. (someone called out to him in "The Party's Over")
Mom C.
Stuart R.
Tracy M.

Acquaintances and Coworkers:

Christy J.
Duncan S.
Jennie S.
Rod S.

Celebrities

Andy Griffith (as Sheriff Andy Taylor)
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Don Knotts (as Deputy Barney Fife)
The Edge (of U2)
Frances Bavier (as Aunt Bee)
Frankenstein (I'd just seen the classic 1930s movie in "Sympathy for the Monster")
Hal Holbrook
Jack Lemmon
The Jackson 5 (one of their albums was seen in "Cleanup Time"
Laura Bush
Paul Giamatti
Ronnie Howard (as Opie Taylor)
Sarah Jessica Parker
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles (one of their albums was seen in "Cleanup Time")
Steve Martin
Walter Matthau