Friday, October 12, 2007

Put Down the Gun

Thursday night

I was sitting in a barber chair waiting to get a haircut, talking with my coworker Harriet, who was standing beside me. A mobster that I knew sat in the chair to my left, and I noticed that he had a gun. I said, "Hey, let me see that." I grabbed it from him, and struck a pose which I thought looked pretty cool. I held the gun fairly close to my face, but pointed at the ceiling. I thought it would make a good photo. I said, "Hey, get a picture of this." The gangster was having none of it, and motioned for me to give the gun back to him -- slowly. He was nervous because I wasn't familiar with firearms, and the thing was loaded. Photos were out of the question; he didn't want to draw attention to us, and didn't want any record that that was his gun.

*****

This dream seems to mix several films that I've watched over the last week.

The movie "Rushmore" features a main character named Max who is kicked out of his beloved prep school, and then, for a time, goes to work in his dad's barber shop. Last night my wife and I watched the first half of "Goodfellas," stopping shortly after the scene in which Ray Liotta's character, Henry Hill, pistol-whipped a guy who was bothering Hill's girlfriend, Karen (Lorraine Bracco). Henry asked Karen to hide the blood-spattered gun. She said, "I know there are women, like my best friends, who would have gotten out of there the minute their boyfriend gave them a gun to hide, but I didn't. I got to admit the truth. It turned me on."

Then again, we were also in the mood for some classic James Bond this week, and it occurs to me that my pose with gun in hand closely resembles the DVD cover of "From Russia with Love." (We ended up watching "Goldfinger, but I must have taken that one out and looked at it.)

My dad has often told a story about when he was a young kid, growing up in South Carolina. He was playing cowboy, and came upon a loaded pistol that his father kept in a desk drawer. Dad says he found the gun, and began waving it around, saying, "Bang! Bang!" He pointed it at his grandmother (who was living with his family at that time) and pulled the trigger; it clicked. He pointed it at the floor and squeezed the trigger again. That time the gun went off, scaring everyone in the house to death. Dad pointed out the bullet hole in the floor during a trip to his mother's house some 45 years later. That cautionary tale was enough to make me swear off guns forever.

I shot skeet with a friend's rifle once, but I've never held a handgun, and have no intention of doing so.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

First Date / Retaliation

Wednesday night

Dream 1: First Date

I had been out with one of the 20-somethings from work, and we went back to her apartment. We ended up lying on the floor, facing each other, and talking. That was pretty much it.

Dream 2: Retaliation

I was involved in a car accident that injured a young woman. I'm not sure if she was in my car, or a pedestrian. Next, the scene shifted to a college. A young man walked up to a young woman and asked her to acknowledge her identity: "Are you [Jane Smith]?" She smiled and said, "Yes," upon which he violently pushed her down a long stairway. She landed on her back, with her head bleeding badly. He practically walked over her as he left, paying no heed to her pleas for help.

The young man was the brother of the woman who was hurt in the car accident. The woman at the college was my sister.

*****

Dream 1: First Date

This morning my wife asked me if I had any dreams, so I told her about this one. I remember saying, "It was a pretty chaste affair," which was a pretty poor choice of words. I meant the word "affair" as in "event," not as in "releationship behind someone's back." I don't think she was buying it. She said, "That's disgusting!" I said, "There was no indication that I was married in the dream," to which she skeptically replied, "Uh huh." I said, "I can't help what I dream!"

That conversation reads more harshly than it really was. We're secure enough to talk about such things, both knowing that they won't really happen. I guess the mid-parallel-life crisis continues.

Come to think of it, the young woman in question looks a lot like Lisa Loeb, and since we were talking while prone, I was probably thinking about Loeb's album cover "Firecracker." Always liked that one.

Dream 2: Retaliation

The graphic violence and injury in this dream was pretty unusual. Fortunately, I don't usually dream of such things. Last night I caught a few minutes of one of the episodes of Ken Burns' new documentary on WWII (titled "The War") and watched as American pilots and crew members returned from bombing runs over Germany with awful injuries. That may have factored in there.

The characters in Dream 2 (aside from myself) don't exist. I have two brothers, but no sisters.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Shortcut

Monday night

Some of my cousins were at my dad's house, but I didn't have time to chat; I was on a mission. I'd come to Dad's place to borrow his sofa, throw it in the back of my car, and drive it somewhere. I did take a minute to greet my cousin Wingard. He towered over me, and looked thin and haggard; he was dressed all in dark clothing. I shook his hand and said, "Hey," and then kept on going about my business.

I'm not sure where I was going with the sofa, but I tried to take an "off-road" shortcut through an overgrown area between housing developments. It soon became apparent that I should get out of the car and walk over to the nearest street in order to find the safest way out of the mini-jungle I was in. I could see a street and some houses off in the distance, but wasn't sure of the terrain, and didn't know how to get back to the road. I wasn't worried, though, and soon became much more interested in my surroundings. I came across a pretty stream, and remembered how much I enjoyed going down to the creek when I was young. I found a partially-submerged board and thought to myself, "That looks like a snaky place." I was about to turn it over to see what I could find when all of a sudden a Jeep came crashing through the brush and drove straight through the creek. I thought to myself, "I wish he hadn't done that." The driver certainly spoiled the moment, as well as some of the surroundings. I watched a frightened freshwater eel emerge from under the board and swim away for dear life.

*****

This dream seems to be a comment on the fact that some of the wild places of my youth are gone, along with the the languid summers that I had to explore them.

This afternoon I was pondering this dream and I remembered one such magical place. When I was a kid, there was a large open field across Albemarle Street from the baseball diamond at my elementary school in Arlington. It was a wild thicket, filled with birds, berries and brambles, and the occasional rabbit. My friends and I spent many wonderful hours exploring there. Now it's all gone, plowed over years ago to make way for an expensive housing development.

I'm sure it's always been this way. Someone was probably upset when my parents' neighborhood was built in the post-World War II era, and somebody probably protested when fields were divided in the 1920s to make way for my current Nashville neighborhood. But I regret the loss of the last cherished wild places in Arlington most of all, because that's where I grew up, in a simpler, more relaxed time.

Friday, October 5, 2007

DVD / Having a Fit

Thursday night

Dream 1: DVD

Dick Van Dyke was working at the service desk of my office, and was surrounded by a huge amount of paperwork. He took it in his stride, and was able to joke about his circumstances. He said, "I think I'll be able to get through this stack in 15... MONTHS!" (I had expected him to say "...15 minutes.")

Dream 2: Having a Fit

My twin brother Andrew and some of our poker buddies, including Eddie M. and Eric M., were riding in my new Honda Fit. The car was pretty messy on the inside, filled with napkins, cups and other assorted trash. We pulled up to a gas station or a convenience store, and I decided to show the guys how efficiently the seats fold down in the back; I couldn't help extolling their ingenious design. I said, "See how easy this is? They fold down completely flat, so you could fit a desk or a bicycle in here!"

*****

Dream 1: DVD

Dick Van Dyke has always been a favorite comedian, and "The Dick Van Dyke Show" is among my top 5 TV shows of all time. (The others, as of this week, are "The Andy Griffith Show," "The Sopranos," "The Twilight Zone," and "Prime Suspect." Then again, that leaves out the original "Star Trek." Better make it my top 6.)

By the way, Van Dyke was white-haired and mustachioed in this dream, as he looked in his later series, "Diagnosis Murder," while playing Dr. Mark Sloan.

Dream 2: Having a Fit

We do have a new Honda Fit, and I love the thing. I have told anyone who will listen that I'm really knocked out by the ease of converting the upright back seats to a cargo area. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've used those very sentences from the dream, regarding the bicycle and the desk.

I'm getting the impression that other Honda Fit owners love their cars, too. I've noticed a strange phenomenon, that Fit owners automatically acknowledge each other when our cars pass, with a wave or a "thumbs up" sign. It's almost as if we're part of a club or something. My wife says that someone called into the "Car Talk" radio program, and mentioned that she's noticed this "friendly" trend, too. The Tappert Bros. said that they'd heard of a similar phenomenon when the VW Beetles came out in the U.S. Come to think of it, maybe they meant the new versions of the VW bugs. That would make sense. Can't you hear it now? "I love my new car! Don't you love yours? Isn't it all so wonderful?"

I'm bending over backward not to mess up the new car, and it's going pretty well so far. We've had it since late June, and so far I haven't eaten one bite of food or had one sip of a drink in it. (I do carry food in the car, I just don't consume it in the car.) We'll see if I can keep to those standards during the 10-hour drive back home at Christmastime.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Cut Short

Wednesday night

Chris Matthews and his trio were playing a set in a college auditorium, and I had a seat about halfway up in the audience, which was inclined away from the stage. It had already been a long night; the band was still cooking at 2:00 a.m., and were showing no signs of stopping. Suddenly Matthews' mike gave out in the middle of a song. The people in charge at the university had had enough and cut the power to the stage. Matthews said, "Huh. We had four songs left to play." He was still not ready to get off of the stage. He reached into a case that he had with him and brought out an L.P. record pressed on blue vinyl. He decided to spin it for the crowd on his portable record player. After that, he still wanted to keep the audience's attention. He said, "Hey -- have you seen the new Britney Spears movie?" He got ready to project it on the wall when I called out, "You'd better not show all of it, Chris!" (Apparently I was aware of some naughty scenes in the "film" that might upset the college.) Chris knew what I was getting at. He said, "Don't I know it! That's why I burned just a few [clean] scenes to this DVD!" He proceeded to project the DVD onto the wall, using some portable device. In order to broadcast onto an uncluttered surface, Matthews had gradually moved from stage right (at our left) to center stage. As he set up the equipment, I noticed that copies of several of my old family photos were taped to the wall, including baby pictures of my twin brother and myself.

Later that same day I strolled into a record store and noticed that the Osmonds had released a new album. I picked it up and looked at the front cover. It featured a large group shot of the family members. There seemed to be hundreds of them.

*****

Chris Matthews is the host of the political show "Hardball" on MSNBC. If he's a musician, I'm not aware of it, but it's easy to imagine that he'd be reluctant to give up any stage; he's a ham. I was probably thinking of him because he's featured in a small interview in the back of the latest Newsweek magazine.

Matthews sometimes takes the "Hardball" show on the road, to various colleges. I caught a few minutes of one such appearance with presidential candidate John McCain. He (McCain) turned me off. I wondered what I'd ever seen in the guy.

It's interesting to me that Matthews was projecting his film on the wall. Once, when I was a kid, my brother Jimmie checked a film out of the library of the Beatles playing their first American concert at the Washington Coliseum (in 1964). He projected it on the wall of my bedroom. I thought that was the coolest thing ever.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Long Walk Home

Tuesday night

I was alone and restless in Arlington, and decided to walk down Lee Highway to my dad's apartment in D.C. I arrived at 3 a.m. My brother Jimmie was there; he was visiting. He and Dad were awake, which may have been my fault. Dad immediately walked over and opened the living room sofa bed for me. Or, he said, I could stay on the boat out back. I said, "No thanks. I'm going to walk back home [when the visit is over]."

*****
Last night my brothers and I got together on a conference call to talk about Dad's health and his financial situation.

Dad's apartment is in Arlington, not D.C., and he doesn't own a boat. He's pretty much confined to a wheelchair these days, so he wouldn't be able to walk over and pull open a sofa bed. I guess that's wishful thinking on my part.

My wife will be out of town this weekend, so I will be on my own for a few days.

By the way, "Long Walk Home" is an early favorite from the new Bruce Springsteen album, "Magic," released yesterday.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Fun with Shapes / Great New Job

Sunday night

Dream 1: Fun with Shapes

I was trying to fill out a voter registration form, but was chagrined to find no instructions or printing of any kind -- only boxes of various shapes and sizes.

Dream 2: Great New Job

I was working for a company that was going through some upheavals; the powers that be had called a meeting of all employees to unveil their new organizational chart. I sat in the balcony with some of my coworkers, waiting to hear the results. When the CEO got to my name (pointing to the lower left of the board) he announced that I would now be part of the cleaning crew. I stood up and yelled, "What?!" and was ready to run downstairs and challenge him, but was dissuaded by my fellow workers. They felt that I should be glad to have that position, given the circumstances.

Later, I was leading a team meeting of my own, as the new manager of a fast food restaurant. I said, "This will be great if we all pull together as a team!"

*****

Dream 1: Fun with Shapes

I am registered to vote, and recently took part in the mayoral election here. I asked several coworkers about it, but found that the great majority had not voted, and few seemed to care.

Sometimes I need to create special agreements in the course of my work, overwriting and changing forms which were created by my predecessor in Word. I'm fine with overwriting the words, of course, but the forms also include many boxes, which give me fits. Those boxes showed up in this dream.

Dream 2: Great New Job

I'm worried about my future (again).

There's a lot of turnover in this office, and the jobs here are very stressful and chaotic. There are problems in the industry as a whole, and some days I feel as though I'm standing on the deck of the Titanic. Time to update the resume.

*****

September Dream Roundup

The following people showed up in my dreams in September 2007.

Family and Friends:

My wife
Andrew C.
David C.
Eddie M.
Kels K.
Mark F.
Mom
Polly D.
Preston W.
Steve W.
Susan F.
Susan W.
Wingard C.

Coworkers and Acquaintances:

Ashley S.
Christy S.
Isaiah M.
Jennie S.
Kahata M.
Ken P.
Michelle L.
Suzanne B.

Celebrities:

Alison Krauss
The Beatles (One of their song titles showed up on the Elvis record in "Aunt Bee, Appraiser")
Cerphe Colwell
Elvis Presley (I was carrying one of his records in "Aunt Bee, Appraiser")
Francis Bavier (as "Aunt Bee")
Frank Sinatra (Steve W. sings his songs in "Just Joking")
Matt Damon (as Jason Bourne)
Matt Servitto (He's an actor from "The Sopranos," but plays a different character in "School?")
Peter Vaughan (British actor who plays a friend's grandpa in "The Grump")
Sheryl Crow (Andrew C. discusses magazine photos of her in "Admirer")
Ulysses S. Grant (I asked the director of my department about him in "Pop Quiz")