Aunt Bee, Appraiser

Wednesday night

Aunt Bee (from "The Andy Griffith Show") ran her own barber shop, and I came in for a trim. I brought with me a rare 45 r.p.m. E.P. (extended play) by Elvis Presley, called "This Boy," which I'd recently bought; I wanted to ask Bee about it, to see if it was really valuable. (The title was written in large yellow letters superimposed on a color photo of Elvis, but the cover was scuffed up to the point that some of the letters were practically rubbed away.)

I showed the record to Aunt Bee. She was so excited about being asked to express her opinion about something that she went into a complete tizzy, running around saying, "I've never done this before!" "Oh My!" etc. I sat in the barber chair and watched her carry on. Finally, I'd had enough and said, "Aunt Bee, I just wanted a haircut!"

As I waited for her to calm down, I studied the cover of the E.P. The missing type bugged me, but the photo was in pretty good shape. I decided that I'd find another copy on e-bay for my collection. I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the front cardboard cover into a neat square and left it on the table. She could hang it on her wall.

*****

The E.P. that I showed Aunt Bee was actually "Jailhouse Rock," (except for the new title) from 1957, featuring a nice color photo of E in a striped gray jacket with black collar, on a red background. "This Boy" is a song that Elvis never recorded; it's a favorite Beatles B-side from 1963.

I spent an awful lot of money over the past few years buying up about 80 Elvis Presley picture sleeve singles and E.P.s, and plan to frame them someday and hang them in my basement.

I own the first five seasons of "The Andy Griffith Show" on DVD. Those are the classic black and white episodes, up until Barney Fife left. The following color episodes are abysmal, and seem to focus on Aunt Bee all the time: she learns to fly a plane, she opens a Chinese restaurant, she is the one dissenting juror keeping a young Jack Nicholson from being convicted in a court case. "Dreadful," as Preston would say.

By the way, it is "Aunt Bee," not "Aunt Bea." I double checked in my copy of "The Definitive Andy Griffith Show Reference."