Crash / The Silly Vicar

Friday night

Dream 1: Crash

I was in Virginia, and I'd borrowed Dad's car. I was driving near Tyson's Corner when somebody ran headlong into my right front quarter panel. My first thought was, "Man, I'm so glad I wasn't driving our new car," but I was still plenty P.O.'ed about what had been done to Dad's. I got out of the car and saw that the offending driver, a young guy, maybe 19 or so, had put his car in reverse, and was planning to flee the scene. I knew I'd have to prove who he was, so I looked down and noticed that he had a temporary tag for a license plate. I promptly snatched it. Thinking that I needed more evidence, I somehow climbed into the back seat of his car without his knowledge. He took off, and I began rifling through his belongings, grabbing papers and maps and stuff for evidence. He stopped at a light and I got out and ran into a Taco Bell, yelling, "Call 911! Call 911!" The driver ran in after me, and immediately went about convincing the customers that I was crazy. One lady was taking his side already. I wanted to defend myself, but decided that it would be best not to say anything until the police arrived. Finally, a detective showed up, and led us over to a booth. The three of us sat down, and he asked us for our versions of what had happened. I spoke first, and when I explained that the guy had hit my car, the cop agreed. He looked at the other driver and said, "You did hit his car. I've seen the photographs." But then he looked at me and explained that I'd transgressed, too, by removing the other driver's possessions. We both had to end up admitting guilt.

*****

Dream 2: The Silly Vicar

My wife and I were in England, and we were about to be married outdoors on a nice, lush, green lawn, surrounded by trees. The priest and I both wore black; she wore white. The vicar reached out to shake her hand, and as he did so, his arm extended all the way to the ground. He had a long, fake rubber arm and an expanding sleeve, which I thought was hilarious. I turned to my wife and said, "That's FUNNY! Don't you think that's funny?!" She didn't.

*****

Dream 1: Crash

Well, that sucks. I guess I had to end up paying for the damage to the car anyway.

By the way, the car that I was driving was my parents' old Mercury Comet, circa 1962, with fins in the back. The detective was Carlos A. He was a sales rep who used to work for my current employer. He left last summer. I never liked him much. He was not a conscientious person.